I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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