i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
