I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
