HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
