let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
