So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
