my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
