so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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