check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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