Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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