The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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