You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
