I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
