walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
