Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
