Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
