saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
