So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
