i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
