my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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