Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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