im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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