so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize