There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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