hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Randomize
