My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
