she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
