Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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