Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Green mimosas i think yes
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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