I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
