doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
