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• (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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• (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?

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• (415): View more from California

  The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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• (+02): View more from

  I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He's like a hurricane

  (303): View more from Colorado

  a drunk, sexist, hurricane

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• (941): View more from Florida

  My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.

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• (408): View more from California

  I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond

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