Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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