he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
