I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
