Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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