this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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