Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
