Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
