a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
