Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
