Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize