I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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