never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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