I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I understand Curling. That high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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