Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
