The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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