why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
