and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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