Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
they need to just BURY HIM!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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