How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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