I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
