I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
