I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
