why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
