Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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