We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
