Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
