i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
