pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
